Friday, August 31, 2012

Public Service Announcement


“It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.”

---Jarod Kintz

“This seems to be the general idea behind the Carl’s Jr commercials.”

---Howard

CARL’S JR “MEMPHIS BBQ BURGER”

Various locations nationwide


 

We’ve seen TV advertising for a “Memphis BBQ” burger with pulled pork from Carl’s Jr.  It featured two attractive, scantily clad young women allegedly barbequing a pork butt over an open grill at what looks like a barbecue contest in a park-like setting.  They pull tender, roasted pork off the grill and pile it on a burger.  They add breaded fried onion rings, cheese to the mix and voila, you have the “Memphis BBQ” burger.  Then they feed their burgers to each other in a highly suggestive manner meant to make one want to run right out, secure one and have a decadent feast too.  We thought: could it be?  When we’re jonesing for barbeque, could it be that easy?  Just drive through and get our fix to tide us over?  In a word: no.  Just don’t do it, it was a waste of a perfectly good burger patty.  It reminds one of the “Mac Rib” sandwich that McDonald’s insists on periodically resurrecting like a zombie rising from the grave.

We usually do our grocery shopping on Thursday nights shopping at two stores.  Sometimes we are peckish enough to want dinner or a snack between stores.   This is not a problem since there is a good selection of fast food establishments between the stores.  As we left our first stop Sharon suggested that since there was a Carl’s Jr on the way we try the Memphis BBQ Burger.  I said, “Really?!  You really want to write a review of that?” 

She said we should be daring.  We flipped a coin.  I lost, and bravely stepped up to the counter to place my order.  I ordered the subject burger and Sharon ordered a conventional hamburger.  The girl at the register repeated the order and mentioned barbecued chicken whereupon I asked, “There’s chicken on that too?”

“I’m sorry”, she replied, “This burger is new and I’m used to people ordering the barbecued chicken sandwiches.  This is scary enough.  With chicken it would be really scary!”

When it arrived at the table it was wrapped in a paper that was labeled,   “Special Promo”.  This, hopefully, indicates that they do not intend to make it a regular menu item.  Now I have had many legitimate pulled pork sandwiches.  Some come with coleslaw on top of the pork, some with crisp onions or onion rings on top and some with both.  They can all be good.  This is another story.  I can definitely say that it does not look like its pictures.  On the bottom layer of the bun is a thin layer of pulled pork that is like the pulled-pork-in-a-pouch that you get in the refrigerated section of a Kroger store.  This is drenched in a generic barbecue sauce.  Next is the burger, Carl’s usual decent hamburger patty.  On top of that is melted cheddar cheese and some unbelievably soggy onion rings.  All this is topped by the top half of the bun. 

How does all this taste?  The best description is muddled.  The flavors are all so indistinct that nothing comes through.  The pulled pork is obviously pre-processed and there is not enough of it there to really taste.  I did pull some out and it did not taste all that good anyway.  The patty would have been quite good treated as a conventional hamburger, but here it is wasted.  What was above the patty could only be described as cheesy onion mush.  I’ll give it credit for one thing.  As with all Carl’s Jr products, even if you don’t finish it, if you are hungry, it is filling.

Whatever it is it is not barbecue.  The words “Memphis BBQ” should not be in the name.  As barbecue this rates a zero.

 

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